Saturday, June 18, 2011

Current Clerks List: Association of Bad Friends

Here's the current clerks list of the Association of Bad Friends
•J. Brent Bill -- co-clerk and co-founder of Association of Bad Friends
•Jacob Stone -- co-clerk and co-founder (and unindicted co-conspirator) of Association of Bad Friends
•Ginny Mills -- Clerk of Non-Birthright Quakers (who are not as good, and so never as bad, as Birthrights)
•Bill Clendineng -- Crank
•Staṡa Morgan-Appel Goddess of Unprogrammed Laughter& Goddess of Sacred Snark
•Vonn New -- Clerk of Americans for Servicing their Friends Committee
•Angie Reeks -- Clerk of Rolling Eyes, and ROF Laughter
•Amy Woods Hostler -- Clerk of Backsliding
•Gil Skidmore-- Co-clerk [pronounced Clark] of Awkward British Friends
•Laurel Whisler -- Clerk of Always Looking on the Bright Side of Life, in a Pessimistic Sort of Way
•Annie Glen -- Clerk of the Royal High and Holy Potatoes
•Michael Cronin -- Representative to Wikiquakes
•Andrea Walsh -- Clerk of Yearly Meeting Registrars
•Deborah Suess -- Clerk of Closeted Dancin', Handclappin, But Ain't Got No Rhythm Quakes
•Becki Swantner Heusel -- Clerk of Birthright Methodists Gone Quaker
•Bill Downall -- Clerk of the Committee on Alternatives to Non-Violence
•Ann Armstrong -- Clerk of Hybrid Multi-branch Friends
•Chuck Fager-- Clerk of the Committee on New Quaker Cliches
•Jane Stokes -- Representative for Clerks of Micro-mini Worship Groups that pay Attention to Food, not Business
•Meredith Egan --Clerk of Questioning the Rules against Educating YAFs in the Appreciation of great Islay or organic farm-brewed Beer at Gatherings Committee
•Tatiana 'Tania' Hamboyan Harrison -- Clerk of "I've got 99 beliefs but Just War Ain't One
•Dorene Cornwell -- Clerk of the Still Didn't Get the Memo Committee on E-mail Immoderation
•Richard Lee -- Clerk of the Hide your Light under a Barrel Committee (if I can also help to empty the barrel)
•Helen Gibbs -- Co-clerk of the Meeting of Friends needing Therapy because by the Time they Heard about YF, they were too Old
•Richard Lee -- Clerk of the Intensely Complicated Simplicity Committee
•Gretta Stone -- Clerk of BAD Yearly Meeting Registrars
•Chris Wynn -- Clerk of Middle Road Wilburite Friends who serve as Hireling Pastors of Programmed Meetings
•Colin Lincoln Holloway -- Non Clerk of Feral Friends & Rock & Tree Herding
•Dawn L. Rubbert -- Clerk of Birthright Lutherans Gone Quaker
•Anne Wright-Lohaus -- Clerk of Late Bad Friends
•Patrick Ruth -- Clerk of the No damn Organic, Meat & Potatoes, Beer with a Straight Shot Advancement Committee
•Charley Earp -- Chief Conspirator of the Winstanleyite Communist Quakers (Digger Primitivists)
•Rami Zentgraf -- Bad Librarian
•Beth Jenkins Chandler -- Clerk of Birthright Catholics Gone Quaker Who Think "Dogma" Is the Greatest Religious Movie Ever
•Raymond Edward Bartolo Slaughter--Clerk of the Nerd Subcommittee of the Liminal Lifestyle Query Group
•Kathleen Lawson -- Clerk of the Empresses of Everything, Liaison to the subcommittee clerks, task group clerks and preparatory meeting clerks AND Clerk of the Committee to Devise New Anagrams
•Leslie Elise Ford Khalsa -- Clerk of the Heinously Unfriendly and Hypocritical Poseur for the AFSC...(I have the tattoo!)
•Patricia Jackson -- Clerk of Herding Cats Committee
•Elaine Caldwell Emmi -- Clerk of the Perpetually Connected Seekers
•Helen Gibbs -- Clerk of the Discussion Group Reviewing the Decision to Nominate that the Rapture is Due to Happen in October this Year
•Leesa Whitson -- Quaker Party Girl (AKA Social Night Facilitator)
•Matthew Boyce -- Clerk of Friends with Ego Disorders
•Kathleen Lawson -- Clerk of the Committee to Teach New Songs to Liberal Friends
•Rami Zentgraf -- Cerk of the Bad Hospitality Committee

You may notice that some Friends have named themselves as clerk of more than one committee, but that is keeping with the accepted Queries and Testimonies of Friends -- "Is thee's badness evidenced by the over-riding belief that THEE and only THEE can fully understand and direct the needs of THEE's (not the Lord's or the Meeting's) committee.

Nominations are still open.

-- Brent, Presiding Clerk of the Association of Bad Friends and Emperor of the Universe

Thursday, June 09, 2011

RsOFL -- Religious Society of Friends and Texting

I admit to geezerhood. So much so that when I first started getting texts on my phone that I often couldn't figure them out. Or figure them out wrong. Like, why were so many of my women friends telling me that they loved me a lot? LOL. Lot's o' Love, right?

I'm not very bright, I know. But now, OMG, BM&Y, I can MYOB and text you about ur's ASAP.

Now, thanks to the crack international research team at the Association of Bad Friends (headed by Helen Gibbs of Cambridge, England and Chuck Fager of Fayetteville, NC), there's a whole new bunch of Quaker txtng stuff I have to learn.

Here's the list that Gibbs and Fager, with help from others on their research team, have come up with so far.

CQUMB -"Chuckling Quietly Under My Breath"?
PFMWHAMS "Please, Friends, May We Have A Moment of Silence?"
CTCTF "Could Thee Clarify That, Friend?"
ITGTHOOH! "I'm Trying To Get The H*** Out Of Here!"
SER "Surreptitious Eye Roll"
TIANTWNHOTM "That Is A Name Which Would NOt Have Occurred To Me"
LYLS "Let your life speak"
ITCR "Is the clock right?"
YKSPTSTAW "You know she planned to say this all week." (Referring to people who take the silence as a moment to deliver a sermonette.)
TFSMM "That Friend speaks my mind"
MANCMTW - "Must avoid nominations committee"
IIWNQ -- "If I was not Quaker!"

AFAIK, 404, Quakes are the only denomination (religion, set, cult, whatever) to come up with their own txtng lingo. For once we're ahead in the game.